A well‑chosen trustee brings competence, steadiness, and harmony to a family’s long‑term plan.

If you read “What Does a Trustee of a Trust Do, Anyway?,” then you know the role of trustee carries significant responsibilities. Even with the best intentions, the job is far more demanding than many realize. Over the years, in my law practice and now at Northeast Private Trustees, I have seen again and again how trust administration can quickly become overwhelming for a family member who meant only to help.

Most Family Trustees Are Good People, but They’re Not Prepared

I’d estimate that 48 out of the last 50 family trustees I’ve encountered were honest, hardworking, and trying sincerely to do right. They were people with integrity, strong values, and the desire to serve, but the skill set required to run a trust well is not the same as running a household, a job, or even a business.

The fiduciary duties, documentation, neutrality, and decision‑making required are technical and come with serious liability.

Good intentions don’t protect a trustee from mistakes or beneficiaries from the fallout.

The Three “Bad Eggs”—Real Stories from My Practice

Over the years, I have only run into a few truly problematic trustees, but those three were unforgettable:

1. The Trustee Who Thought the Trust Was Their Personal Payroll

One family trustee paid herself, her sister, and her sister’s husband (a CPA) over $100,000 for tax work and “administration.” The actual fair value? Maybe $25,000 to $30,000.

The family weighed the cost of pursuing her in probate court but walked away frustrated and disillusioned after they couldn’t justify spending more than they’d recover.

2. The One Who Was Just a Crook

Another bad egg had to be sued to be removed and ordered to surrender distributions he made to himself and his favorite sister. He paid himself before the grandchildren of the decedent and doled out assets by his own volition. While the case was not criminal, the only remedy was hundreds of thousands of dollars in litigation.

3. The One Who Stole During Life

One trustee was not suspected of wrongdoing until after the parent died. They were co-trustees with another family member who uncovered the fraud. The parent had moved in with the trustee before dying, at which point the trustee systematically drained the bank accounts for groceries, clothing, and trips, thinking they would get away with it. After death, the co-trustee started to pay attention. A lawsuit ensued, and NPT was appointed to take over as the independent, professional trustee.

When Things Go Wrong, Fixing Them Is Expensive—Financially and Emotionally

Families often underestimate the cost of correcting mistakes. When a trustee, even a well‑meaning one, gets off track, the solution is typically a probate court action.

That means:

• Litigation expenses
• Time delays
• Emotional exhaustion
• Strains on relationships

These problems almost always revolve around record‑keeping. Family trustees generally don’t keep the detailed fiduciary records the law expects. They don’t know what to document, how to document it, or why it matters, and trying to reconstruct decisions years later is both painful and expensive.

Why Being Good at Other Things Doesn’t Translate into Being a Good Trustee

I’ve seen many grantors assume, “He runs a successful business; he’ll be a great trustee,” or “She raised a family; she’s responsible and organized.”

These are admirable qualities, but they are not fiduciary skill sets. Being a trustee requires:

• Judgment under legal standards
• Objective decision‑making
• Clear, accurate communication with multiple beneficiaries
• Collaboration with investment, tax, and legal professionals
• Diligent attention to compliance
• Documenting everything

Even very capable family members often feel lost, tired, and worried that they are doing something wrong.

What an Independent Trustee Brings to the Table 

Independent trustees are called “independent” for a reason:

1. No financial conflicts: We don’t manage the money or sell financial products. We hire people who do that professionally.

2. No split loyalties: We’re not siblings, cousins, or business partners of any beneficiary.

3. No emotional entanglements: We approach each request, decision, and conversation with neutrality.

4. Real systems and real support: At Northeast Private Trustees, we have:

• Trust officers who build relationships with beneficiaries
• Administrators who handle record‑keeping, reporting, taxes, and onboarding
• Processes that keep everything organized, compliant, and documented

In other words, we have the infrastructure that individual family trustees almost never have and shouldn’t be expected to create. 

Why We Built Northeast Private Trustees

We created Northeast Private Trustees because we kept seeing the same problems:

• Family members overwhelmed by responsibilities.
• Lawyers were too expensive or too busy.
• Bank trust departments were too rigid or impersonal.

We wanted to offer a better middle option: a dedicated, independent trustee service focused on thoughtful, practical, and personal trust administration. A service that prevents headaches, court actions, and family strain. A service that helps families stay families. 

Most family trustees mean well, but families deserve more.

An independent, professional trustee ensures that a trust is:

• Administered correctly
• Documented properly
• Managed neutrally
• Stewarded with experience and judgment

These actions ensure beneficiaries can focus on living their lives—not running a trust.

Northeast Private Trustees serves as an independent, professional, corporate fiduciary for trusts originating anywhere in the U.S. Personal, independent of financial institutions, and founded by estate planning lawyers, we collaborate with longtime financial advisors, accountants, law firms, and others for a perfect blend of rapport, professionalism, and confidence.